Last updated on August 23rd, 2024 at 01:43 am
BDSM terms and language are essential for a curious beginner or an experienced practitioner for effective communication in BDSM.
In this guide, we will provide an in-depth exploration of key terms, from basic concepts such as Domination and Submission, to advanced practices like Shibari and edge play.
When you don’t understand these terms, it becomes difficult to learn further, participate in communities, and make meaningful contributions.
So, it becomes imperative to have a collection of these BDSM lingos to help enthusiasts familiarize themselves with the culture.
As an enthusiast who has observed the BDSM culture for years, I have distilled the BDSM terms into a glossary for easy understanding both for the beginner and people seeking to expand their knowledge of BDSM.
Here is a comprehensive guide on what BDSM is.
Table of Contents
- BDSM Terms in the BDSM Dictionary and their Meanings
- Resources for Further Learning of BDSM Terminology
- Online Communities and Forums
- Conclusion
BDSM Terms in the BDSM Dictionary and their Meanings
We are going to group the BDSM terms into related topics for easy reference and understanding.
Let’s go…
1. Dominance and Submission: Dominance and Submission are popular BDSM lingo, often abbreviated as D/s, refer to a consensual power dynamic in which one person (the Dominant) takes on a controlling and authoritative role, while the other (the submissive) willingly relinquishes control and follows the Dominant’s guidance. This dynamic is built on trust, communication, and negotiated boundaries.
2. Dominant (Dom) and submissive (sub): As popular BDSM lingos, the Dominant (Dom) is the partner in a BDSM relationship who assumes the role of authority and control. They make decisions, set rules, and guide the submissive partner. The submissive (sub) is the counterpart who consensually submits to the Dominant’s authority, finding pleasure and fulfillment in following their lead.
3. Top and bottom: In BDSM terms, “top” and “bottom” are terms that primarily relate to physical activities and scenes. The top is the person who takes an active role in activities such as impact play, sensation play, or bondage. The bottom, on the other hand, is the one who receives and experiences these activities. Unlike Dominant and submissive roles, being a top or bottom in a scene doesn’t necessarily imply a power dynamic outside of that specific context.
Related: Understanding the BDSM Brat
4. Bondage and Discipline (B/D): In BDSM dictionary, Bondage and Discipline, or B/D, are two distinct components within BDSM. Bondage involves the use of restraints, such as ropes, cuffs, or other materials, to restrict movement and enhance sensory experiences. Discipline, on the other hand, pertains to the consensual use of rules, rewards, and punishments to guide behaviour and reinforce the power dynamic between partners.
5. Bondage: In the BDSM glossary, bondage refers to the act of restraining a person’s body using various tools and techniques. This can include ropes, cuffs, chains, tape, or specialized bondage equipment. The purpose of bondage can vary, from enhancing sensory experiences and vulnerability to exploring power dynamics and different sensations. Safety and communication are crucial when engaging in bondage to ensure both physical and emotional well-being.
6. Discipline: In the BDSM dictionary, discipline refers to the consensual establishment of rules, behaviours, and consequences within a power dynamic. It involves maintaining structure through agreed-upon guidelines, and may include rewards for compliance and punishments for disobedience.
Related: Resources and Websites for Kink Education
7. Sadism and Masochism (S/M): As the BDSM terms that form the BDSM acronym, sadism involves deriving pleasure from causing pain, whether physical or psychological, to others in a consensual and controlled manner. Masochism is finding pleasure in receiving pain or humiliation. In BDSM, participants explore these dynamics safely, prioritizing communication and consent.
8. Sadist: In the BDSM glossary, a sadist is an individual who experiences pleasure from inflicting consensual pain or discomfort on others, often within a BDSM context. This pleasure is derived from the power exchange and the trust shared between participants.
9. Masochist: As one of the BDSM terms that makes up the BDSM acronym a masochist is someone who derives pleasure from receiving consensual pain or humiliation, often within a BDSM context. The satisfaction comes from the physical or emotional sensations experienced and the dynamics of trust and control.
Related: Misconceptions Surrounding BDSM and Kink Practices
10. Power Exchange: In BDSM terminology, power exchange is a foundational concept in BDSM where participants willingly transfer control or authority to another person. It can involve various roles, such as Dominant and submissive, and is rooted in negotiation, trust, and the mutual satisfaction of both parties’ desires and needs.
11. Power Dynamics: Power dynamics in BDSM terminology are the roles and relationships where participants willingly take on dominant or submissive positions. These roles create a structured exchange of power, control, and authority, forming the basis of BDSM interactions.
12. Spanking Tools: Spanking tools in BDSM refer to various implements or objects used for administering physical discipline or punishment through spanking. Examples include paddles, belts, canes, rulers, and other items specifically designed for this purpose.
13 Safeword: In BDSM terminology, a safeword is a pre-agreed word or signal used during BDSM activities to communicate the need to stop, slow down, or check on the well-being of a participant. It provides a clear and immediate way to ensure
14. Communication and Consent: Communication and consent are foundational in BDSM. Participants openly discuss desires, limits, and expectations before engaging in activities. Continuous communication during play ensures that everyone is comfortable, safe, and aligned with the ongoing experience.
Recommended: Introducing BDSM to Your Partner
15. Negotiation Before Play: Negotiation before play involves open conversations between BDSM participants about their preferences, limits, and expectations. This helps establish a clear understanding of each person’s desires and ensures that activities are enjoyable, consensual, and safe.
16. Establishing Boundaries: Setting boundaries as a BDSM terminology involves defining personal limits, both physical and emotional, that participants are not comfortable crossing during play. This ensures that activities remain within the agreed-upon comfort zones for all involved.
17. Triggers: Triggers as a BDSM terminology are sensitive topics or actions that can cause emotional distress. Identifying triggers and limits is crucial in BDSM to avoid unintentional harm. Participants openly communicate what they are comfortable with and what could be distressing.
18. Continuous Communication During Play: BDSM activities require ongoing communication to gauge comfort levels, adjust intensity, and maintain consent. This communication ensures that all parties feel safe and respected throughout the experience.
19. Non-Verbal Cues: Non-verbal cues as a BDSM terminology are signals used in BDSM play when speech may be difficult, such as during roleplay or when gagged. These cues can include hand gestures, tapping, or specific body movements to indicate comfort, discomfort, or the need to stop.
20. Checking in With Your Partner: Regularly checking in with your partner during BDSM activities is essential. This involves asking for feedback, using safewords, and observing non-verbal cues to ensure that everyone is enjoying the experience and feeling secure.
21. Roleplay and Scenarios: Roleplay scenarios involve participants adopting specific roles, often with power dynamics, to create a dynamic scene. Scenarios are the fictional contexts within which these roles play out, adding excitement and complexity to BDSM interactions.
22. Master/Slave Dynamics: Master/slave dynamics are a form of power exchange where one participant (the Master or Mistress) takes on the role of authority, and the other (the slave) consensually submits to their control. This dynamic often involves intense power dynamics and responsibilities.
23. Teacher/Student Scenarios: In BDSM, teacher/student scenarios involve one participant taking on the role of an instructor (teacher) and the other as a learner (student). This can encompass various dynamics, such as discipline and guidance.
24. Ageplay: Ageplay is a roleplay scenario where participants take on different ages, often involving a caregiver/little dynamic. It’s important to emphasize that all ageplay must involve consenting adults and not involve actual minors.
25. Petplay: Petplay involves participants taking on animal-like roles, with one partner acting as the “pet” and the other as the “owner” or “handler.” This can include behaviours, accessories, and dynamics associated with the chosen animal.
26. Role-Specific Terminology: Role-specific terminology includes the language, titles, and terms used to enhance the immersive experience of a BDSM roleplay scenario. This helps participants stay in character and deepen their engagement within the chosen dynamic.
27. Tools and Equipment: Tools and equipment in BDSM refer to items and devices used during various activities to enhance sensations, establish power dynamics, and explore different aspects of play. These can include items for impact play, bondage, sensation play, and more.
28. Impact Play Tools: Impact play involves striking the body for pleasure and stimulation. Tools used for this purpose can range from floggers and paddles to whips and canes, creating a mix of sensations from gentle to intense.
29. Floggers: Floggers are impact play tools consisting of multiple tails or strands attached to a handle. They vary in material and thickness, allowing for a range of sensations from soft strokes to more intense impacts.
30. Paddles: Paddles are flat impact play tools typically made of leather, wood, or other materials. They deliver a stinging sensation when used on the body and can be selected based on the desired intensity.
31. Restraints: Restraints are items used to limit movement during BDSM play, intensifying the experience. These can include handcuffs, ropes, bondage tape, and other devices designed to secure or bind a person.
32. Handcuffs: Handcuffs are restraints placed around wrists to restrict movement. They are often used for symbolic or sensory play, and it’s important to ensure they are comfortable and do not cause harm.
33. Rope: Rope is a versatile BDSM tool used for various purposes, including bondage and shibari (a Japanese form of intricate rope bondage). Safety and proper technique are essential when using ropes to avoid injury.
34. Sensation Play Items: Sensation play involves stimulating the senses for arousal and pleasure. Items used can vary widely and may include tools like feather ticklers, ice cubes, and more.
35. Feather Ticklers: Feather ticklers are soft and lightweight tools used to lightly brush and tease the skin. They create a gentle, arousing sensation that can heighten sensitivity.
36. Ice Cubes: Ice cubes are used in sensation play to evoke a cold, tingling sensation when touched or dragged across the skin. This contrasts with body warmth and can be erotically stimulating.
37. Safety Precautions with Equipment: Safety precautions involve using BDSM tools and equipment responsibly to prevent harm or injury. This includes understanding proper techniques, communication, checking for allergies, and having safety shears on hand to quickly release restraints if necessary.
38. Femdom: Femdom” is a term used in the BDSM community and stands for “female dominance.” It refers to a power dynamic where a female (often referred to as a “domme” or “dominatrix”) takes on the dominant role in a relationship or scene.
39. FetLife: An online social platform for the BDSM community, allowing members to connect, share experiences, and discuss various aspects of kink and fetish lifestyles.
40. SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual): A guiding principle in BDSM emphasizing safety, mental well-being, and mutual agreement among participants during activities.
41. RACK (Risk-Aware Consensual Kink): An approach acknowledging the inherent risks in BDSM, prioritizing informed consent while engaging in activities that may carry some level of risk.
42. Triggers: Sensitive topics or actions that can evoke emotional distress during BDSM activities, requiring careful consideration and communication.
43. Aftercare: Post-play care involving emotional support, reassurance, and comfort to ensure participants’ well-being and help them transition back to a normal state.
44. Scene: A specific BDSM activity or session with a defined beginning and end, involving negotiated roles, activities, and dynamics.
45. Subspace: An altered mental state some submissives experience during intense play, characterized by euphoria, detachment, and reduced pain perception.
46. Dominatrix: A female dominant who may provide professional BDSM services, guiding and controlling submissives in various activities.
47. Switch: An individual who enjoys both dominant and submissive roles in BDSM dynamics, often alternating between these roles based on preferences and circumstances.
48. BDSM Dungeon: A BDSM dungeon is a space that is specifically designed and equipped for engaging in BDSM activities. It typically has various tools, furniture, and equipment that can be used for bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism practices.
49. BDSM Punishment: Punishment in BDSM is a consensual activity where one partner is disciplined or subjected to various forms of physical or psychological discomfort as a means of exploring power dynamics and enhancing pleasure.
50. BDSM Sensory Play: Sensory play involves the deliberate stimulation or deprivation of the senses to enhance erotic experiences. It can include activities such as blindfolding, using feathers, ice, hot wax, or sensory toys to heighten sensations like touch, taste, smell, sight, and sound. Sensory play can intensify pleasure and create a deeper connection between partners.
51: BDSM Sensory Deprivation: BDSM sensory deprivation is a practice that involves intentionally limiting or removing one or more senses to enhance the experience of submission, vulnerability, and heightened sensations. This can be achieved through blindfolding, earplugs, hoods, or other tools to restrict sight, hearing, or other senses, intensifying the focus on remaining sensations and enhancing the overall BDSM experience.
52. Orgasm Control or Denial: Orgasm control or denial is a practice in BDSM where one person, typically the dominant, exercises control over the other person’s sexual release. It involves delaying or denying orgasms for extended periods, creating heightened arousal and power dynamics. It can be a form of pleasure, submission, or punishment.
53. Femdom Orgasm Control: Femdom orgasm control is a consensual BDSM practice where a dominant partner exercises control over the submissive partner’s orgasms. It involves techniques like teasing, denial, and forced orgasms, aiming to enhance power dynamics and intensify pleasure through the exchange of control and submission.
54. Consensual non-consent: Consensual non-consent is a type of BDSM roleplay where participants agree to engage in activities that simulate non-consensual acts. It involves establishing clear boundaries, communication, and trust to ensure that all actions are consensual and within agreed-upon limits, emphasizing the importance of consent even in intense power dynamics.
55. Medical Play BDSM/Medical Play Kink: Medical Play in BDSM is a form of role-playing where participants engage in consensual activities that simulate medical procedures. It involves elements such as doctor-patient dynamics, medical equipment, and power exchange. Safety, communication, and consent are crucial in this practice to ensure a positive and enjoyable experience for all involved.
56. Needleplay BDSM: BDSM needleplay is a form of consensual kink involving the insertion of sterile needles into the skin for sensory stimulation or aesthetic purposes. It requires thorough knowledge, communication, and consent between participants, ensuring safety and pleasure within the boundaries of their agreed-upon dynamic.
57. Animal Role Play/Pet Play: Pet play is a form of role-playing where individuals take on the personas of animals, typically pets. Participants may engage in activities such as dressing up, using pet names, and mimicking animal behaviors. It can be a way to explore power dynamics, express oneself, and experience a sense of freedom or submission. Consent, communication, and respect are essential in this consensual adult activity.
58. Spanking: Spanking in BDSM refers to the act of striking a person’s buttocks with an open hand or an implement for sexual pleasure or as a form of discipline. It can involve varying degrees of intensity and is often consensual between partners.
59. Chastity Cage: A chastity cage is a device primarily used in the BDSM community that is designed to restrict sexual pleasure and prevent genital stimulation. It is typically made of metal or plastic and is worn over the genitals to inhibit erections and orgasms, controlled by a keyholder for sexual denial or control.
Resources for Further Learning of BDSM Terminology
As BDSM is evolving, so also the terms and glossary. Here are resources for further learning and exploration of the BDSM terms.
Recommended Books on BDSM Glossary
There are several insightful books that delve into the world of BDSM, offering knowledge, perspectives, and guidance.
These books cover a range of topics, including terminology, practices, communication, and safety.
Some recommended titles include “The New Topping Book” and “The New Bottoming Book” by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy, “SM 101” by Jay Wiseman, and “Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns” by Philip Miller and Molly Devon.
Online Communities and Forums
Online communities and forums provide spaces for individuals interested in BDSM to connect, share experiences, and learn from others.
Websites like FetLife, Reddit’s r/BDSMcommunity, and The Cage offer platforms for discussions, questions, and networking.
These spaces allow people to ask questions, seek advice, and gain insights into various aspects of BDSM.
Workshops and Events
Workshops and events provide interactive and hands-on learning opportunities.
Many cities host BDSM-focused workshops, classes, and events where participants can learn from experienced practitioners and educators.
These sessions cover topics ranging from basic terminology to advanced techniques, negotiation skills, safety practices, and more.
Attending these events can be a great way to learn in a practical and supportive environment.
Exploring these resources can help individuals deepen their understanding of BDSM terminology, dynamics, and practices, while also encouraging a sense of community and shared knowledge among those interested in this lifestyle.
Conclusion
In the journey through BDSM terms, we have seen how BDSM is its own language.
Each term, from dominance and submission to impact play and roleplay, reflects the rich tapestry of desires, boundaries, and consent that underpins the BDSM community.
As you embrace these words, you empower yourself with knowledge, respect, and the tools to navigate the complexities of this world responsibly.
Remember, understanding the glossary isn’t just about words; it’s about forging connections, promoting trust, and embarking on a path of exploration that honors individuality and shared experiences alike.
References:
Pyo Merez is a respected author and one of the backbones of our review board. He is an advocate in the BDSM community, known for his insightful writings and dedication to educate and empower individuals about the dynamics of BDSM. His work covers various aspects of BDSM, emphasizing open communication, consent, and healthy boundaries. Through online platforms, workshops, and speaking engagements, Pyo creates a non-judgmental space for individuals to freely express themselves and explore BDSM responsibly. His work has helped many people navigate their journeys and fostered understanding and appreciation for BDSM.